Lesson #8 Moral (2 of 2) - For God Fore His Glory

STEP FOUR

(WHILE SEEKING FRIENDSHIP WITH JESUS)
WE MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS
MORAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES.

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and
Let us return to the Lord,” Lamentations 3:40

PRINCIPLE FOUR

OPENLY EXAMINE AND CONFESS MY FAULTS
TO MYSELF, TO GOD AND TO SOMEONE I TRUST

“Happy are the pure in heart,” Matthew 5:8

LESSON EIGHT
MORAL
PART TWO

While working this step, we look for what is right about
- Ourselves
- Our values
We look for the wrongs we have done
We look for our self-defeating behaviors
- The moral issue of whether or not we truly care about ourselves
While working this step, we take stock of our behaviors
- Positive and negative

M – MAKE TIME

O – OPEN

R – RELY

A – ANALYZE

L – LIST

Schedule an appointment with yourself
Set aside a day or a weekend, and get alone with God
God tells us in Job, 33:33:

“LISTEN TO ME!
KEEP SILENCE!
I WILL TEACH YOU WISDOM!”

O – OPEN

We need to “Open Wide,” as the doctor would say
- Our heart
- Our mind
  - Allow the feelings
  - The pain the past
    - Has blocked
    - Caused us to deny
Denial
- Protects us from our feelings
- Represses our pain
  - FOR A WHILE
Denial has also blocked and prevented our inner healing
- We CAN recover from our hurts and habits
We need to
- Open wide
- See the “Real Truth”
Once the Truth is seen
- It needs to be expressed
Here’s what Job 7:11 tells us:

“Let me express my anguish.
Let me be free to speak out of the bitterness of my soul”

Maybe this question “What do you feel guilty about?” will help us to
“Wake Up” feelings
- So we can get started on our inventories
The God-given purpose of guilt is for God to correct us through His Spirit
when we are wrong
- It’s called CONVICTION
  - Conviction hurts
Conviction is not to be confused with condemnation
Romans 8:1 tells us:

“THERE IS NOW NO CONDEMNATION FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST”

Once a person makes the decision to ask Jesus into their heart
- When they confess their wrongs
- Accept Christ’s perfect forgiveness
- Turn from their sins
Guilt’s purpose
- Make us feel bad about what we’ve done in the past
  - It’s over
  - It’s FINISHED!
Sadly, we hold on to guilt, and beat ourselves up with it over and over again
- That’s CONDEMNATION
- It’s NOT from God
- It’s from OURSELVES
Working this step will help you to let go of guilt
- Once and for all
The next question we need to ask
- “What do I resent?”
Resentment results from burying our pain
When resentments are buried, they cause
- Anger
- Frustration
- Depression
What we don’t talk out creatively
- We act out destructively
Another question we need to ask
- “What are my fears”
Fear prevents us from expressing ourselves honestly
- Preventing us from taking an honest moral inventory

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God,
I am with you wherever you go”
Joshua 1:9

Next on the list of questions
- “Am I trapped in self-pity, alibis, and/or dishonest thinking”
The Truth DOES NOT change
- It is your feelings that change

R – RELY

Rely on Jesus to give you the courage and strength this step
requires
This suggestion may help:
- When your knees are knocking, kneel on them
Isaiah 40:29 says that Jesus:

“Gives strength to the weary,
And increases the power of the weak”

With the help of Jesus you can do this moral honest inventory
of ourselves
Before you can successfully work this step
- You need to turn your life and your will over to God
Knowing the love and power of your Higher Power
- There is no longer any need to fear this step
Psalm 31:23-24 tells us:

“Oh, love the Lord, all of you who are His people;
For the Lord protects those who are loyal to Him….So cheer up!
Take courage if you are depending on the Lord”

Remember, COURAGE is not the absence of fear
- COURAGE is the conquering of it
Our Senior Pastor Bruce Sophia said:
- “Remember, FAITH and FEAR often walk side by side to VICTORY”
  - TRUST JESUS

A – ANALYZE

This step requires us to analyze our past honestly
To do a “Searching and Fearless” inventory
- It is necessary to step out of our DENIAL
  - We cannot put our faults behind us
    - Until we FACE them
We must look through our denial of the past into the Truth of
the present
- Our feelings
- Motives
- Thoughts
- Our “Dark Side”
Proverbs 20:27 says:

“The Lord gave us a mind AND a conscience,
We cannot hide from ourselves”

L – LIST

Our inventory is a written list of the events of our past
- Both good and bad
  - BALANCE IS IMPORTANT
Seeing our past in print brings us face-to-face with the reality of our
character defects
Our inventory becomes a black-and-white discovery of who we truly are
- Way down deep
Looking at all the bad things in our past will distort our inventory and
- Open us to unnecessary pain
Lamentations says:

“LET US EXAMINE OUR WAYS AND TEST THEM”

We need to focus on the “Pros” and the “Cons” of our past
People who fail to balance their inventories can
- Get stuck along the way to their inner healing and recovery
They judge these steps as being too hard and too painful
- Then stop their journey altogether
They slip back to the old ways of their past

Before starting this step, have a
- Sponsor or
- A strong accountability partner
You need someone you trust to help keep you BALANCED during
this step
- Not to do the work for you
You need encouragement from someone who will support your
progress
- Share your pain

Working this step asks us to honestly evaluate our lives because
many of us:
- Come from troubled or dysfunctional families
- Blame ourselves for everything
- Pick on ourselves for everything, including the way we
  - Think
  - Feel
  - Look
  - Act
  - Behave
- Get angry, self-righteous, and indignant when others blame and
  criticize something we regularly do to ourselves
- Reject compliments or praise
- Get depressed from a lack of compliments and praise
  (Stroke Deprivation)
- Feel different from the rest of the world
- Think we’re not quite good enough
- Feel guilty about spending money on ourselves, or for
  doing unnecessary or fun things for ourselves
- Fear rejection
- Take things personally
- Have been victims of
  - Sexual
  - Physical
  - Emotional abuse
  - Neglect
  - Abandonment
  - Alcoholism
  - Ather forms of addictions
- Feel like victims
- Feel we can’t do anything right
- Afraid of making mistakes
- Wonder why we have a tough time making decisions
- Expect ourselves to do everything perfectly
- Wonder why we can’t get anything done to our satisfaction
- Have a lot of “Shoulds”
- Feel a lot of guilt
- Feel ashamed of who we are
- Think our lives aren’t worth living
- Try to help other people live their lives instead
- Get artificial feelings of self-worth from helping others
- Get strong feelings of
  - Low self-worth
  - Embarrassment
  - Failure, etc..
    - From other people’s failures and problems
- Wish good things would happen to us
- Believe good things never will happen
- Believe we don’t deserve good things and happiness
- Wish other people would like and love us
- Believe other people couldn’t possibly like and love us
- Try to prove we’re good enough for other people
Yes, working this step means
- We take an honest stocktaking of our self; simple and straightforward:
  - Write down the names of people we resent and why
  - Write down what part of our life we feel those people have
    affected and harmed us
  - List our resentments, which will include people, institutions
    or principles with whom we are or were angry
  - List our fears
    - Many learn that fear is an underlying motive in our
      self-destructive behaviors
  - List our
    - Grudges
    - Injuries
      - Real and
      - Imagined

Don’t repress your
- Anger
- Resentments
Feeling your feelings may be long overdue
The purpose of this process is to get out into the light your deeply
rooted feelings
- So we can feel them and
- Be done with them

While working this step, the more we can write about
- Ourselves
- Our feelings
- Our beliefs
  - The more helpful this work will be
Working this step requires us to thoroughly review our issues with
- Anger
- Resentments
- Fears
- Sex
- Money
- With an attitude of self-acceptance
  - Not shame
- An honest appraisal of the things we’ve done that we feel
  guilty about
Working this step can help us clarify our own actions and words that cause
- Shame
- Guilt
  - SO WE CAN BE DONE WITH PAST GUILT
Working this step can help us clarify our inappropriate guilt
- Feelings of guilt that aren’t really our own, but belong to others
  - We can be done with that too
Working this step is where and when we can let go of our
- Denials
- Accusations
- Rationalization
- Justifications
  - We are looking within
Working this step will help us understand
- Treating ourselves badly is as much of a moral issue as
  - Wrongdoing
  - Treating others badly

Believing that we’re
- Unlovable
- Stupid
- Unworthy
- Not good enough
- Inferior
- Superior — IS a moral issue
Not taking care of
- Our feelings
- Our needs
- Ourselves — IS a moral issue
Not setting boundaries and limits with people
- Allowing them to hurt or harm us — IS a moral issue
- Which doesn’t help them and
- Hurts us
Telling ourselves it’s okay to accept mistreatment — IS a moral issue
Neglecting ourselves — IS a moral issue
Expecting ourselves to be perfect — IS wrong
Not allowing ourselves to have fun and
- Enjoy being alive — – IS a moral issue
Not listening to
- Not trusting ourselves — IS a moral issue
Not liking
- Respecting ourselves — IS a moral issue
Not liking
- Respecting ourselves is
  - The heart
  - The core
    - Of our codependent behaviors

Dear God, You know our past, all the good and the bad things that we’ve done.
We ask that You give us the strength and the courage to list them so that we
Can “Come Clean” and face them and the Truth. Please help us reach out to others
Who You have placed along this “Road to Inner Healing and Recovery.”
Thank You for providing them to help us keep balanced as we do our inventories.
In Christ’s name we pray. Amen