Lesson #15 Victory (2 of 2)

STEP SIX

(WHILE SEEKING FRIENDSHIP WITH JESUS)
WE WERE ENTIRELY READY TO HAVE GOD REMOVE
ALL OUR CHARACTER DEFECTS 

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, And He will lift you up,” James 4:10

STEP SEVEN

WE HUMBLY ASKED GOD TO REMOVE ALL OUR  SHORTCOMINGS

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and
Will forgive us our sins and purify us from all Unrighteousness!”
1 John 1:9

PRINCIPLE FIVE

VOLUNTARILY SUBMIT TO EVERY CHANGE
GOD WANTS TO MAKE IN MY LIFE AND HUMBLY
ASK  HIM TO REMOVE MY CHARACTER DEFECTS

“Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do
What God requires,” Matthew 5:6

LESSON FIFTEEN
VICTORY
PART TWO

  • While working this step, you will begin to notice things about yourself like
    • Caretaking
    • Controlling
    • Fear
    • Unresolved grief
      • BUT NOT IN A CHUNK
  • You may become aware of your issues with control
    • You may not stop
    • You just become aware 
  • Seems we struggle with working on ourselves and our behaviors
    • Trying harder
    • Failing until we finally SURRENDER and
    • Let ourselves be 
  • While working this step, we receive gifts like
    • Detachment
    • Letting go
  • Realizing deep within ourselves
    • We really couldn’t control someone else
  • This realization is one we grow to accept as we continue time and again
    • To let go
    • To let God
      • We surrender giving ourselves to God
  • We become aware of issues
    • We ask God to help us better understand the need and desire
      behind our issues, such as control because
      • They will continue to come back 
  • We accept, and let ourselves
    • Learn
    • Grow
  • We stay alert and become more aware
    • As our new nature develops into one that is
      • Kind
      • Gentle
      • Respectful of ourselves and others
  • We let God work
    • Transforming our lives
  • We realize those problematic issues will be transformed into helpful issues
    • A very negative time can become an important positive in our lives
      • Once we accept that part
      • Once we are able to say Thank You
        • Even when you don’t mean it     
          • There is a gift YET to be received

  • We discover the many ways
    • Gratitude
    • Acceptance
    • Working these steps can transform us
      • Transform some of our most troublesome traits
  • While working this step, we recognize
    • We see the gifts we have been given while struggling with our
      negative issues, for instance
    • The need to deprive one’s self whether out of martyrdom or not
  • We recognize the ability to
    • Endure
    • Push forward
    • Go without to reach positive goals such as
      • Completing college
      • Starting a business
      • Doing something that is beneficial
  • We realize our character defects are being rechanneled
    • Issues of control can be tempered with appropriate
      • Boundaries
      • Respect
    • Then channeled into management and leadership abilities
  • We realize the energy spent in self-hatred and self-abusiveness can
    be used
    • To respect
    • To care for ourselves
  • We learn to work through
    • Bitterness
    • Anger
    • Resentments
      • All of which have accrued from our past
  • We will be able to receive the gift from each relationship
    • Even the most painful ones
      • We are gaining a better perspective
        • On ourself
        • Our past
  • We learn some things we are better off without
    • Somethings will be flipped
    • Some things we will work on, with God’s help over time
    • Some things we learn to accept
  • We will be HEALED
  • We will recover our identity as
    • A child of God
  • While working this step
    • Self-respect and respect for others will come to us
  • We receive an essential gift of SELF-ACCEPTANCE for
    • ALL we are and have been
    • ALL we have been through
  • We realize the more we can accept ourselves
    • The more we evolve into who we are destined to become
      • God is applying His SUPER to our natural
  • This step does not absolve us of self-responsibility
  • Hopefully, this step will help to absolve
    • Our worry
    • Our fretting
    • The need to force our core healing and recovery
  • We don’t have to abase or criticize ourselves
    • We’re UNABLE to change something about ourselves
  • Working this step means we recognize our task is
    • Acceptance
    • Self-respect
      • From this stance
        • ALL GOOD THINGS CAN, AND WILL HAPPEN 
  • God will work good from every mess we set before Him

  • While working this step, we receive a very special gift that gives us
    permission to be
    • Who we are
      • We ask God to help us
      • Please change us
        • From that moment on we can be who we are
          • We can let God work 

  • We accept ourselves
    • We ask God to do the rest
  • We ask, knowing that what we want and need done for us
    • Is greater than what we could accomplish
  • We ask, knowing that we are not expected to do it
    • Ourself
  • We recognize a new need to
    • Be open
    • Trust what happens next in our lives
  • We acknowledge our part in this process which is
    • Applying ourselves to the steps
    • Humbly asking God for what we need 
  • We are given permission to come as we are
    • To bring our needs and desires to God
      • As we say please
    • To express our gratitude
    • To trust we have been heard
  • Steps 6 & 7 are Transformation Steps
    • People are transformed from being obsessed with something
      • To people dedicated to a new way of life
  • During these steps we are transformed into individuals who will be
    • Less fearful
    • Less controlling
    • More focused on personal
      • Accountability
      • Responsibility
  • Some are transformed from a life of martyrdom
    • To individuals dedicated to being
      • Kind
      • Patient
      • Respectful of themselves and others
  • We learn to
    • Deal with our feelings
    • Be healed from the backlog of feelings from our past
  • We will even see our past transformed
    • We begin to understand the gifts from all of it
      • Even the most painful moments
  • We are given the gift of ENCOURAGEMENT

  • As we continue to work our healing and recovery
    • We will come closer and closer to that innocent child within
  • We learn about ourselves, and the things we have experienced
    throughout life
    • Often the hard way
      • We learn to treasure and value ourselves and those experiences
        • They have made us who we are
      • Because then, nothing can interfere with the good that is coming
        our way in life
        • On this mission of inner healing and recovery
  • During these Steps we become willing to
    • Become open
    • Say please
    • Express Gratitude
    • Cherish who we are NOW
  • This step does not eliminate us
    • It embraces and brings together the beauty of that innocent child
      in each of us
      • Combining it with the wisdom of our experiences
      • Helping us to better understand, and receive God’s gifts
        • Divine gifts that enable us to realize our FULL POTENTIAL
  • This is the essence of Steps Six and Seven
    • Ask God to help us
    • Ask God to change us   
    • Ask God to heal us
    • Become entirely READY to have God heal us
    • Trust He is working good in and for us
  • During these steps our gifts will become
    • Enhanced
    • Accentuated
  • Our idiosyncrasies will become acceptable
    • At times even laughable
  • Our negatives will be
    • Illuminated
    • Lightened
    • Flipped
    • Eliminated
    • Made bearable
  • During these steps we realize we have become attached
    • To people
    • To problems in our environments
  • Detachment involves: 
    • Present moment living
    • Living in the here and now
    • Allowing life to happen
      • Instead of forcing
      • Trying to control it 
    • Relinquishing
      • Regrets over the past
      • Fears about the future 
    • Making the most of each day
    • Accepting reality – the facts — requires FAITH in
      • God
      • Ourselves
      • Others
      • The natural order and destiny of things in this world
    • Releasing our burdens and cares
    • Trusting someone greater than ourselves, for me Jesus Christ,
      because I believe         
      • He knows
      • Has ordained
      • Cares about what is happening and
      • Is willing to HELP
    • Having a healthy neutrality
      • Learning to love
      • Care
      • Be involved without being
        • Anxious
        • Obsessive
    • Stop creating chaos in our mind and environments
  • We become open to receive the rewards of detachment:
    • Serenity
    • Energizing ways
    • The freedom to find real solutions to our problems
    • The freedom to live our own lives without excessive
      feelings of guilt about or responsibility toward others
    • We mind our own business
    • Learn to live with our problems, in spite of them
    • Find a way NOT to live in
      • Resignation
      • Martyrdom
      • Despair
        • Instead with Enthusiasm
        • Peace
        • A true sense of Gratitude
    • Begin to take care of our actual responsibilities
    • Give to others and care for them
      • Also for ourselves
    • Hold ourselves in high esteem
      • Through actions of self-respect
    • Learn to do things well, as we release ourselves
      from the IMPOSSIBLE standard of
      • Doing things perfectly
      • Without effort
      • Instantly
  • Detachment is
    • An act
    • An art
      • That can become a habitual response as did      
        • Obsessing
        • Worrying
        • Controlling
          • By PRACTICE
          • The practice of
            • Openness
            • Honesty
            • Willingness
            • Accountability
  • During this step we recognize
    • Our self-destructive tendencies
    • Our need to detach:
      • We can’t
        • Stop thinking
        • Talking about
        • Worrying about someone or something
      • Our emotions are churning and boiling
      • We feel like we have to do something about someone
        because we can’t stand it another minute
      • We’re hanging on by a thread
        • It feels like that single thread is frayed
    • We believe we can no longer live with the problem we’ve
      been trying to live with
      • When it seems the least likely or possible thing to do
  • We can’t do anything to
    • Control
    • Fix
    • Change people
      • That may be destroying their lives right before our eyes

DETACH:

  • Detach in love
  • Detach in anger
  • Strive for detachment
  • It is difficult
    • It will become easier with practice
  • “Hang on Loosely”
    • If letting go completely can’t be done
  • Relax
    • Let your focus be on you
  • During this Step we will be learning new strategies:

                                                    V – VOLUNTARILY SUBMIT

                                                    I – IDENTIFY CHARACTER DEFECTS

                                                    C – CHANGE YOUR MIND

                                                    T – TURN OVER CHARACTER DEFECTS

                                                    O – ONE DAY AT A TIME

                                                    R – RECOVERY IS A PROCESS

                                                    Y – YOU MUST CHOOSE TO CHANGE

  • VOLUNTARILY SUBMIT
    • To every change God wants me to make in my life
    • Humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings          

“The person who has been born into God’s family does not make a practice of          
Sinning, because now God’s life is in them; so they can’t keep on sinning,
For this new life has been born into them, and controls them
They have been born again”
1 John 3:9

  • You made the most important decision of your life by choosing to
    • Turn your life over to God’s will
  • That decision got you right with God
  • You have or are in the beginning processes of
    • Accepting
    • Determining to follow God’s Son, Jesus Christ
      • As your Lord and Savior
  • You began to work with Him or your Higher Power on yourself
  • You made a fearless and moral inventory of yourself
  • The first step in any victory
    • RECOGNIZE THE ENEMY
      • My inventory showed me that I was my greatest enemy
  • You came clean by admitting and confessing to yourself, to God
    and to another person your wrongs and your sins
  • Probably for the first time in your life
    • You were able to take off the muddy glasses of denial and
      • Look at reality with a
        • Clear
        • Clean focus
  • You’ve come to a crossroad along this mission of Healing and
    Recovery where you say,
    • I don’t want to live this way anymore. I want to get rid of my
      • Hurts
      • Hang-ups
      • Habits
      • Compulsions
      • Addictive tendencies
  • How do you begin the process to have God make the positive
    changes in your life
    • Changes you and He both desire
  • IDENTIFY CHARACTER DEFECTS
    • Those you want to work on first
    • Falling down doesn’t make you a failure
      • Staying down does
    • God doesn’t just want us to admit our wrongs
      • He wants to make us right
    • God wants to give us
      • A future
      • A hope
    • God doesn’t just want to forgive us
      • He wants to transform us
    • Ask God to first remove those character defects that
      are causing you the most pain
      • BE SPECIFIC

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps”
Proverbs 16:9

  • CHANGE YOUR MIND
    • Second Corinthians tells us when you decided/considered
      becoming a Christian
      • You became a new creation
        • A brand new person inside
          • The old nature is gone
    • The changes that are going to take place are the result of
      • TEAM EFFORT
    • Your responsibility is to take ACTION
      • Follow God’s direction for change
  • ASK
  • You will receive
  • SEEK
  • Make new discoveries
  • KNOCK
  • Doors will be opened

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world; instead, be transformed
By the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test, and approve what God’s will is
His good, pleasing and perfect will”
Romans 12:2

  • You have to let God transform (change) you by
    • Renewing your mind
  • To transform something means to change its
    • Condition
    • Nature
    • Function
    • Identity
  • God wants to change more than just our behaviors
  • God wants to change the way we think
  • Simply changing behaviors is like trimming the weeds
    in a garden
    • Instead of removing them
  • Weeds always grow back
    • Unless they are pulled out by the roots
  • We need to let God transform our minds
  • TURN YOUR CHARACTER DEFECTS OVER TO JESUS
    • Relying on your own willpower, your own self-will
      • Has blocked your healing and recovery
    • Your past efforts to change your
      • Hurts
      • Hang-ups
      • Habits by yourself
        • Were unsuccessful
    • Humility is not a bad word
      • Being HUMBLE doesn’t mean you’re WEAK
    • Humility is like underwear
      • We should have it, but we shouldn’t let it show
    • Humility is to make the right estimate of one’s self
      • TO SEE OURSELVES AS GOD SEES US

“Humble yourselves before the Lord…He will lift you up”
James 4:10

  • ONE DAY AT A TIME
    • Your character defects were not developed overnight
      • Don’t expect them to be instantly removed
    • Our healing and recovery happens
      • ONE DAY AT A TIME
    • Life by the yard is hard
      • Life by the inch is a cinch
    • Don’t be anxious about tomorrow
      • God will take care of your tomorrow too
        • Live one day at a time (Matthew 6:34)
    • When you start to regret the past or fear the future,
      remember Exodus 3:14
      • God tells us His name is “I AM”

    • God tells me that when I live in the past with its
      • Mistakes
      • Regrets
        • Life is hard
    • I can take God back there to
      • Heal me
      • Forgive me
      • Forgive my sins
    • God does NOT say, My name is “I was”
      • God says, My name is “I AM”

    • When I try to live in the future, with its unknown
      • Problems
      • Fears
        • Life is hard
    • I know God will be with me when that day comes
    • God does NOT say, My name is “I will be”
      • He says, My name is “I AM”
    • When we live in today, this moment
      • ONE DAY AT A TIME
        • Life is not hard
          • God says, “I AM HERE”

“Come to Me,
ALL of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads,
I will give you rest”
Matthew 11:28 

  • RECOVERY AND INNER HEALING IS A PROCESS
    • “One day at a time”
      • After “One day at a time”
    • Once you ask God to remove your character defects
      • You begin a journey that will lead you to
        • New freedom from your past
    • Don’t look for perfection
      • Instead, rejoice in steady progress
    • What you need to seek is
      • “Patient Improvement”

“And I am sure that God Who began a good work within you
Will keep right on helping you grow in His grace, until His task within you
Is finally finished, on that day when Jesus Christ returns”
Philippians 1:6

IS THIS PROCESS OF INNER HEALING AND RECOVERY POSSIBLE?

Our self-destructive tendencies will not just go away. As a matter of fact, their        
propensity is progressive, but even in their advanced stages they are treatable. 
To get well, we must begin to directly address the dis-ease they create in our lives.    
If we expect anybody else – even a good therapist – to do our inner healing and
recovery work for us, we will stay stuck, lost, and sick.

Learning to take care of ourselves, and letting go of the need to control people, places
and events is difficult, but it will ultimately bring a freedom from those self-defeating
patterns that low self-esteem, shame and fear can cause. The energy investment in
manipulation through caretaking and/or controlling is considerable in this process of
letting go and simply becoming ourselves, frees our energy for more productive uses. 

  • We must learn how to intervene with the DIS-EASE in our own lives
  • During these steps we have been learning how to:
    • Treat ourselves with more respect
    • Develop boundaries, to own our reality
    • Become responsible for our own wants and needs
    • Begin to approach life with moderation.
  • Inner healing and recovery from our self-destructive tendencies
    is deep work
    • Based on shifting our relationship with OURSELVES
  • The process and the work is about us
    • Not about anyone else in our lives
  • Inner healing and recovery from our
    • Hurts
    • Shame
    • Fear
  • Inner healing and recovery involves learning to
    take responsibility for our
    • Own actions
    • Feelings
    • Behavior
    • Issues
    • Lives
      • Ensuring our real needs are met
  • Inner healing and recovery is about
    • Self-acceptance
    • Self-respect
  • YOU MUST CHOOSE TO CHANGE

    • As long as you place self-reliance first
      • A true reliance on a Higher Power is impossible
    • You must voluntarily submit to every change God wants
      you to make in your life and
      • Humbly ask Him to remove your shortcomings
    • God is waiting to turn your WEAKNESSES into
      • STRENGTHS

    • All you need to do
      • HUMBLY ASK

“God gives strength to the humble…so give yourself humbly to God.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you. And when you draw close to God,
God will draw close to you”
James 4:6-8

Dear God, show me Your will in working on my shortcomings.
Help me not to resist the changes that You have planned for me.
I need You to “Direct my Steps.”
Help me stay in today, not get dragged back into the past,
Or lost in the Future. I ask You to give me the power and the wisdom
To make the very best I can out of today.
In Christ’s name I pray, Amen.