I would like to welcome you to For God, Fore His Glory, and invite you to join me on the road to Emmaus. Of course, this is a spiritual journey but one uniquely designed with you in mind. It doesn’t matter what road you are walking the Lord will accompany you. Information has been made available for you to read and determine what is of interest and applies to you. This information is not meant to overwhelm; quite the opposite, it is meant to enlighten and empower as it has done for me.
My purpose for sharing has a threefold intent: (1) That God’s love would radically impact lives, (2) That eyes and ears, hearts and hands would open so ALL that God desires to personally bestow would be received, and (3) That knowing God and His Word and His loving-kindness would result in negativity just naturally losing ground/control in our lives because strongholds would be broken by the resurrection power of the Spirit of the Lord.
It makes no difference who you are, what your personal beliefs or where you call home we are all functioning in some fashion in the error deception causes. And of course, if we knew we’ve been deceived then it wouldn’t be deception. With this in mind, there is no way we could possess the “IN-TO-ME-SEE” knowledge that only the Spirit of Truth can reveal about ourselves and God and our human condition. There are so many things to learn like feelings and beliefs are not facts. Please don’t let offense sway you, for what is generated by offense: Discomfort, upset, anger, insult, sin, shame, disapproval…rises from deep within us and works against us.
My heart’s desire is to share knowledge of God and His Word, Christ Jesus, so you too can find rest for your soul. Our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, behaviors and beliefs have been affected by negativity – Fear, pride, anger, rejection, rebellion, bitterness…the list is long and can prove debilitating.
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Revelation 12:11 says, “We overcome the forces of evil by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony.” Now a testimony can offer encouragement and hope, but it cannot provide what’s absolutely essential a profound personal impact. Nor can a personal impact bring about lasting change, for that can only be accredited to a miraculous metamorphosis: Spiritual Transformation. For the Lord has surely said:
“Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit.”
Zechariah 4:7
If anger, fear, unforgiveness, resentment…are present, then true compassion, kindness, respect…for self and others will in some measure be lacking. This life-changing transformation is not about plastic surgery or weight loss. Outward appearance is what people look at, but God sees the appearance of our heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
We possess a very special knack for making what is wrong seem right. Not before, not during but afterwards, when the heat of onus (reproach, admonishment) occurs, the heart responds though the flushing of shame and guilt and embarrassment may not. How the heart manipulates thought and feeling to do what it desires. But, what can’t be manipulated; instead, only obscured by denying, rationalizing, justifying, comparisons…the crimson stains sin places on our soul.
A life-changing transformation is accomplished when God and His Word and Holy Spirit recreate (restore, renew, revive) our spiritual being! Their work won’t be seen or felt it will become evident when we’re thinking, behaving, believing somewhat differently.
FINE – Favorable, Illuminating, Noteworthy, Effectual
Adjustments are made, for God imparts spiritual gifts – Faith, truth, wisdom, knowledge, prophecy, healing, counsel, fear of the Lord, joy, peace, discernment of spirits….Gifts that change us from the inside out so we can: Arise and shine when heaven’s Light comes and the glory of the Lord rises upon us (Isaiah 60:1).
How can what injures so personally be overcome if a different perspective cannot be viewed? Paul explains this better than I can: I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. I have discovered this principle of life – That when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong (Romans 7:15,19,21). Now there are so many who have been abused unjustly, and I’m sorry. You did nothing to do deserve such mistreatment.
But, there are answers. There is hope. What has holistic harmful effects – Anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, hatred…from the bondage of such powerful forces we can be released. Psalm 146:3-5 says: Blessed are those who seek God’s help, whose hope and trust is in the Lord their God. Why? No mortal man can save, when their spirit departs, they return to the ground. On that very day their plans come to nothing. But a child of God will overcome them, because the One Who is in them, Holy Spirit, is greater than the one who is in the world (1 John 4:4).
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God’s plan, His purpose spans throughout time and eternity! There is much to discuss with this being the motivator – Knowledge is power. A power we need because there is much that comes against us. And though you may not be very familiar with the Lord, Jesus Christ, God’s Word will strengthen you (Isaiah 45:5-7). So you too can hear Him say, “Friend, move up to a better place,” (Luke 14:10). So you too can be among those who come to know Him with a deep, instinctive, personal affection as for a close friend (John 21:17 Amp).
Truly, we could all use such a Friend who is faithful, and works to strengthen and protect us not only from the evil one so we won’t be outwitted, but also as I have learned despite ourselves, for we’re unaware of the devil’s schemes (2 Corinthians 2:11). Jesus is a friend we can have confidence in. Acts 10:38 tells us Jesus of Nazareth went around doing good and healing ALL who were under the power of the devil because God was with Him. God anointed Jesus with the power of Holy Spirit. He offered the kindness of a friend to everyone.
God has given us His Word, and Jesus has revealed His Father’s great compassion for mankind. The problem, which is made quite apparent just by turning on the news, knowledge of Gods’ loving-kindness may be lacking for all sorts of reasons: but, what’s absent is personal experience, and this is what this journey offers.
How can we come to know the One Who directs our heart into God’s love and His perseverance (2 Thessalonians 3:3)? How would we come to believe it is the hand of God that sustains us (Psalm 89:21)? How can we pass through those gates to walk the Way God has prepared and chosen for the people (Isaiah 62:10) without knowing the thoughts and feelings the Word of Truth, Christ Jesus, shares?
If you invest in this precious commodity that God has given us – Time, then most definitely interest will grow! Come along! Embark on a personal journey on the road to Emmaus, which means a warm spring and mule. Luke 24:13 tells of two men who had left Jerusalem, which includes this meaning: To flow as water, to point out, to teach, which was about seven miles from their destination – Emmaus.
Along the way they were discussing everything that had happened that day. As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus Himself came up and walked with them; but they were kept from recognizing Him. When asked what they were discussing, they stood still, their faces downcast and said: “Do you not know the things that have happened these days in Jerusalem?”
“About Jesus of Nazareth, He was a prophet, powerful in word and deed before God and all the people. He was crucified. We had hoped He was the One Who was going to redeem Israel. In addition, some of our women amazed us. They went to the tomb early this morning, but didn’t find His body. They came and told us that they had seen a vision of angels, who said Jesus was alive. Some of our companions went to the tomb, and found it was just as the women had said, they did not see Him.”
The Man walking with them said, “How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter His glory?” Then, beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, He explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning Himself.
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They strongly urged the stranger to stay with them for the day was almost over, so He went in to stay with them. The Man sat with them at the table, took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them, when their eyes were opened and they recognized Jesus, Who disappeared from their sight. They asked each other: “Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked to us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” They got up and returned to Jerusalem to find the eleven and those with them saying: “It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon?”
While they were still talking about this, Jesus Himself stood among them and said:
“Peace be with you!”
This is what God wants us to have peace of mind and heart, which His Word freely bestows. Jesus appeared to the one who denied Him not once but three times – Peter. How many times have we behaved in ways that have caused us to feel ashamed? All that is said about this time Jesus spent with Peter is exactly what those men said: It is true the Lord has appeared to Simon. Why? We each need His personal attention. We desperately need His individual and compassionate care. Anger, denial, rejection in words cannot prevent Jesus from coming to us. It’s a heart filled with anger and deception and wantonness that places distance between the Lord and ourselves.
Jesus may be a complete stranger to you, or He may be as those two men thought a Prophet, but it wasn’t until they became familiar with God’s Word that Truth was able to emerge and Christ, the Anointed One, was truly recognized.
Time flows like a spring of water, but a mule can’t be led to drink. And, like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives. We can’t change the past or what tomorrow will bring, but we don’t have to be stuck or stymied by stubbornness or rejection or fear.
Jesus invites us to walk with Him in miraculous realms. This may stir your spirit, but there is much about us that robs us of experiencing its reality. Quite possibly there’s a mountain of obstacles that must be moved, but God is the only one who can help us overcome our ordinary life perspectives so extraordinary accomplishments can be realized and achieved.
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Only God can accomplish what is impossible for us, and this is the mission He sets us on – Renewal (Inner Healing) and Recovery, and there is so much to discover. For God has designed a process that promises transformation will just naturally occur:
ASK SEEK KNOCK
For this is God’s promise, ask it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; those who seek shall find; and to those who knock, the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7-8).
Know, there are multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision (Joel 3:14) so I ask what is your decision? Are you willing to seek a friendship with Jesus? In Isaiah 26:7 the Message Bible identified the Lord as the Leveler, Who stops us at the crossroads so we can look around (Jeremiah 6:16), and give thought. Consider well your decision, to develop a friendship with the One Whose righteousness levels and evens a path in the fallen world with Truth and Grace so we can linger, for it is sign-posted with His decisions (Isaiah 26:7 The Message).
Praise God! The Lord desires to show you a more excellent way!
1 Corinthians 12:31
God’s Word reveals the One, Who offers Peace instead of confusion; Truth instead of our patterns of denial; Understanding instead of ignorance; Wisdom instead of foolishness; Righteousness instead of error; the Way to an abundant Life. Where fear is overcome by Love, for God is love! And His desire is to fill us with His Word so we not only come to know, but receive all the benefits that result from knowing the only One Who is Good (Matthew 19:17). For we are surely very familiar with the drawbacks and disadvantages of knowing evil!
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The information I share has not been gained by just reading books, though the knowledge I received from them was essential. I also share what is based on experience. A lifetime of experiences has been woven together by the only One who could accomplish such a miraculous life-changing feat – Supplanting (usurping, displacing, cutting out) fear with Love and Power and the Soundness of Mind that God’s Word of Truth bestows.
Our will, our words, our emotions are powerful for how we think and feel generates action. However, what cannot be disputed there are only ever two choices: Good or Evil, Life or Death, Peace or Discord, Right or Wrong…and two wrongs will never make things right. And, unfortunately our heart and the ways of this world keep us bound to self-interest, and many lessons are being learned the hard way.
If there was interest in the image God created us to be, then it would be possible for the likeness of the Lord to be seen. For then, we’d better understand how our prideful nature really does set us up for failure. For the first Adam became for us a living soul; however, the second Adam, Christ Jesus, became for us a Life-Giving Spirit (1 Corinthians 15:45).
So much interest has been invested in the standards of this world, and as a result, moral and ethical, social and work-related decorum (civility, correctness) is not only being trampled, the techniques-of-deceptions are readily being used. Yes, the white-washing of denial: Rationalizing, justifying, minimizing, accusing, blaming, excusing… is being applied in attempts to cover wrong-doing. Prayer was removed from schools and metal detectors are being installed. What is being gained? What is being lost? What really matters?
OUR SPIRITUAL LIVES MATTER!
Every person born on earth is automatically enrolled in the world’s school of hard knocks. However, a choice must be made to enroll in Holy Spirit’s Academy “Transformational Life.” Jesus shows Love and saves – Not by bow, sword or battle by horses and soldiers, but by the Lord God (Hosea 1:7), by the power and authority of God’s Word. He brings us victory over any enemy (anger, addiction, fear, shame, guilt, hatred, offense, bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness…)! He will put these adversaries of ours to shame (Psalm 44:6).
Along with Knowledge, Understanding and Insight, Holy Spirit gives us everything we may need to overcome and rise above those things that come against us. No matter our circumstances and whatever our differences God’s Word will always help us.
A banner has been set up for those who fear and worshipfully revere God; a standard displayed because of the Truth (Psalm 60:4). Twenty-five lessons are being offered that to date have evolved from a 30-year process of growing and gaining knowledge of God’s Word of Truth, Christ Jesus. During those early years, my mouth was filled with empty talk since insight and discernment were simply not a concern. Too much time was devoted to earning approval, seeking acceptance and validation in order to feel valued, in order to feel loved.
Countless attempts were made to protect and defend against all the regrets, disappointments and failures of my yesterdays, while at the same time being hindered even impeded by the fear I projected into my tomorrows. Working to earn the love and respect of others; however, going about it with character deficits and learned behaviors that caused people to be put off. Unable to recognize the Truth of our human condition, so surely not realizing how flawed my efforts and how unrealistic my expectations.
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I was being frightened and made off-balanced by my own doings: Critical, disrespectful, judgmental and self-righteous opinions and attitudes that absolutely affected, while also infecting my soul, my spirit, my way of thinking with diseases such as codependency, people-pleasing, the confusion and fear and deep-rooted anger that emotional traumas generate.
So much fear and confusion amassed since childhood wanting to please and be accepted, to be valued and loved. Trying to cope: yet, deluged over and over by the uncertainties of life. How difficult to remain even-keeled when feelings specific to self-interest are unpredictable and fragile, and so easily injured by the teeter-tottering of emotion.
I was made aware of God’s process for transformation while going through the upset and emotional trauma adversity causes. I would not wish such adversity on anyone, but I have personally experienced, like so many of us have, the turmoil and pain that stubbornness and trusting my ways were actually better causes.
Hurting people hurt people intentionally and not so intentionally, we still get hurt. There’s an insanity involved in all of this when we’re doing the same things over and over yet expecting, hoping, praying for a different result. God can’t snap His fingers so our learned behaviors could be removed. The result would be like suffering a form of amnesia, with this essential component unrecognizable: What we really, truly believe. But God, He is very aware of the purpose and potential He has placed in us, He and is very willing to birth new Life within us!
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If your interest has been peaked, I pray you consider taking part in these lessons and receive whatever God is waiting to impart. Each lesson has the title given to it by Pastor John Baker, so steps can be taken, twelve, that will take us further than we could have hoped or imagined. Like Jacob who wrestled with the Angel of the Lord, and afterwards received the new name Israel, which represents his change of character; we too can experience miraculous changes when the strength and power of God’s Word is known.
Yes! These steps have been established so we can walk into realms of understanding with Holy Spirit as our Guide, as we set off on this journey of Renewal (Inner Healing) and Recovery. There are principles Pastor Rick Warren established, eight in all, that will provide support and protection, as spiritual guardrails, during this process of our becoming more God-dependent rather than codependent. For then, we can truly experience what it means to celebrate Renewal, to Celebrate Recovery, to celebrate friendship with God, Who seats us in heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6) and does immeasurably more for us than what we could ever think or ask (Ephesians 3:20).
The first key is to maintain an honest view of the spiritual reality God wants us to know. Begin by not only considering circumstances and events as substantial, but by becoming aware of the substance of Truth – the Life, the Alpha and Omega, the heart and spirit as we work on taking steps of faith remembering, proclaiming:
God exists and I matter to Him
That God could and would if He were sought
Admitting I am powerless
If God is your co-pilot, switch seats
Acknowledging in certain areas my life became unmanageable
Sorrow shared is halved; Joy shared is doubled
Believing God will restore me with Love, a Sound Mind and Power
Success means getting your BUT out of the way
Believing God will help me stay committed to this decision to put all of who I am
Into His possession and safekeeping
There is no magic in this process of renewal and recovery only miracles
Believing the Word of God will encourage, support and strengthen me as I make
A searching and fearless moral inventory of myself
There is pain in this process. Misery is optional
Because of God’s loving-kindness I have become willing to admit to God,
To myself and another person the exact nature of my wrongs
The road to resentment is paved with expectation
With Truth as my solid foundation I have become entirely ready to have God remove
All my defects of character
Courage is faith that has said its prayers
Having received faith and hope and love for the Surety God has given
I humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings
F.A.I.T.H. = Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him
Having gained knowledge and insight and understanding I have become willing
To make a list of anyone I have harmed, and to make an amends to them all
Just for today I will try to live through this day only,
And not tackle my whole life problems at once
Having gained confidence and trust in God’s refuge I have become willing to step out
With the mindset I am doing this with God and for His glory to make my amends
Whenever possible unless to do so would cause injury to others
Remembering nothing is going to happen today that you and God can’t handle
I embrace my covenant relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit by continuing
To take a personal moral inventory, and when I am wrong being prompt to admit it
We are not human beings having spiritual experiences;
We are spiritual beings having human experiences
I invest in my relationship with God by communicating through prayer and meditation
To improve my conscious contact with Him seeking knowledge of His will
And the power of grace to carry that out
If God seems far away, who moved?
I seek Revival, Restoration and Reconciliation, a spiritual awakening, as a result of taking
Steps to carry God’s message to others and to practice these principles in all my affairs –
Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change.
Prayer is conversation with God about things He can change!
Within each lesson information from the following sources has been included:
1. Co-Dependent No More Melody Beatty
2. Beyond Co-Dependency Melody Beatty
3. Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps Melody Beatty
4. The Trauma Zone R. Dandridge Collins, PH.D
5. Breaking Free Pia Mellody & Andrea W. Miller
6. Celebrate Recovery Leader’s Guide John Baker
Denial is the first of 25 lessons incorporated into our journey of Renewal (Inner Healing) and Recovery, an undertaking that will make you ride high and soar above what disillusions and shames. You’ll be free to enjoy God (Isaiah 58:14 Message)! Honoring the Lord in what we do, not following our own desires and pleasures, not talking idly. Then the Lord will be our delight! He will see to it we each receive our full share of blessings as God’s will is being done to Refresh, Replenish and Revive – a spiritual Rebirth – as His purpose is given definition: Rebirth. The English Language Learners helps us to better understand:
1. The act or process of becoming healthy after an illness or injury; the act or process of
recovering INNER HEALING
2. The act or process of returning to a normal state after a period of difficulty
DELIVERANCE
3. The return of something that has been lost, stolen, etc.
SALVATION
- Denial has been defined as:
- A false system of beliefs that are not based on reality
- And a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the Truth
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The Psalms have been my prayers, and I asked: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting,” Psalm 139:23-2. For surely Lord, “You desire truth in the inner parts; therefore, teach me Your wisdom in the inmost place,” Psalm 51:6.
The Lord answered and sent me on this journey of inner healing and recovery, and it’s my pleasure to share the discoveries I have made with you. Within each section the amassed information emanates its own distinct findings and encouragement; however, when worked and melded together, like a kaleidoscope, they offer radiant portrayals of God’s love and concern for our overall well-being. For this quest is one designed with the support of God’s Word, which provides a solid foundation one not swayed by opinion or emotion for this sole purpose: Life changing breakthroughs would be experienced!
The Message Bible tells us not to shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of us. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ (Colossians 3:2).
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Yes, the Son of God has come and offers us knowledge, insight and understanding, so that we may know Him Who is True (1 John 5:20a); Who said:
“I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear, to be in awe and wonder of Me, so that they will never turn away from Me. I will rejoice in doing them good with all My heart and soul. I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness and you will acknowledge the Lord,”
Jeremiah 32:40.
This is God’s testimony: He gives us eternal life, and this life is in His Son (1 John 5:11). And this is eternal life: That they may know the Father, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, Whom He has sent (John 17:3).
Praise God! It took time but I received this Good News, and now I know that Jesus, God’s Word of Truth and Life and Grace, continues to walk on earth accomplishing the miraculous so we can open our eyes and see, open our mouths and taste how good God truly is (Psalm 34:8). The Lord doesn’t leave us lame, He becomes our Righteousness making us upright, putting us in right standing with God (1 Corinthians 1:30), for He desires the upright to see His face (Psalm 11:7), and share in His glory (2 Thessalonians 2:14). This is why He says:
“Come now, let us reason together.”
Are you aware of the exchanges God was able to make for you through His Son?
- Jesus was condemned that you might be forgiven
- Jesus was wounded that you might be healed
- Jesus was made sin for your sinfulness, that you might be made upright by His
righteousness - Jesus tasted death for you that you might receive everlasting life
- Jesus was made a curse that you might receive an abundance of blessings
- Jesus endured poverty that you might prosper and be in health even as your soul
prospers - Jesus bore your shame that you might receive His glory
- Jesus endured rejection that you might know God’s acceptance
- Jesus was cut off that you might be united with your heavenly Father
- Jesus laid His life down so you could be made alive in Him
This is why I have prayed over this outreach – For God, Fore His Glory – that it would be as a beacon that signals safe refuge in the arms of Jesus, while holding out to all – the Word of Life (Philippians 2:15 TLB); which is a Beacon for sound advice; a Light that emanates good teaching; a Life path of moral and corrective discipline (Proverbs 6:23).
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There is much that has been lost, given away and taken from us. This time is God-given for you to recover from the abuse and trouble and harsh (codependent) servitude you have endured (Isaiah 14:3 The Message). This time is God-given for you to discover tools, keys and truths that will work to free you from the chains of injustice and the cords of that yoke (cruel and abusive exploitations of this world). To set free those who are oppressed (dominated, coerced, belittled, demeaned); and break every yoke (anger, hatred, prejudice, lust, greed…) (Isaiah 58:6-9).
All that’s needed is a willingness to say Jesus,
“Here I am! I’d like to be Your friend.”
This is the God-given time to be edified so any falsehood in which you have been living can be identified, and those things weighing you down can be removed. Along this course of Renewal (Inner Healing) and Recovery, I saw myself walking down a very brightly lit white corridor, and as I navigated through each and every step, following principles, receiving what these lessons imparted, I saw myself setting things down – emotional baggage. Ridding myself of self-blame and shame and guilt. I was learning the difference between accountability and responsibility what was mine and what was not. I was learning to be patient, respectful and kind to myself, to take care of my side of the street, to live one day at a time.
There is a lot of information; however, remember to keep in mind this material is meant to work in your behalf to release you from character deficits and self-destructive behaviors that are harm-filled one step at a time; one day at time (a process). And, if assistance is needed for one moment, one hour at a time, God’s Word will always be there to support and empower. That you might recover cheerfulness and encouraging strength and know gladness (Psalm 39:13) and wonderful times of refreshment that God sends from heaven, the presence of the Lord
(Acts 3:19 TLB).
This information is life changing! For you will grow in knowledge and confidence knowing, trusting, believing – God loves you; and it is God Who will help you remain confident in His love for you as He helps you to apply what pertains to you and your life at this present time. God will help you reclaim your power from the likes of fear or anger or issues of control that we have empowered for such a long, long time. And what’s so very sad, the empowerment we provide the forces of negativity is being used to inflict harm against ourselves and others.
So I encourage you, no matter how simple or complex the circumstance you face – keep in mind there are only two choices – two directions in which to go. My prayer, my hope is you choose daily to continue on God’s mission of Renewal (Inner Healing) and Recovery. Come, travel its paths and find rest for your soul (Jeremiah 6:16). Discover God is a fountain of Truth (John 3:33). Discover His words and live, really live; body and soul, you’ll burst with health (Proverbs 4:22) as this discovery is made – Who you really are, and your place in God’s family (Matthew 5:9).
STEP SIX
(WHILE SEEKING FRIENDSHIP WITH JESUS)
WE WERE ENTIRELY READY TO HAVE GOD REMOVE
ALL OUR CHARACTER DEFECTS
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up,” James 4:10
STEP SEVEN
WE HUMBLY ASKED GOD TO REMOVE ALL OUR SHORTCOMING
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and
Will forgive us our sins and purify us from all Unrighteousness!”
1 John 1:9
PRINCIPLE FIVE
VOLUNTARILY SUBMIT TO EVERY CHANGE
GOD WANTS TO MAKE IN MY LIFE AND HUMBLY
ASK HIM TO REMOVE MY CHARACTER DEFECTS
“Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires!”
Matthew 5:6
LESSON FIFTEEN
VICTORY
PART ONE
- The purpose of Step Seven is to acknowledge
- You have come to the place where you are READY to stop doing the things
your character defects list has shown that you do- Things that interfere with your relationships to
- Yourself
- Others
- Your Higher Power
- Things that keep you from being truly invested in this process of
- Inner Healing
- Recovery
- Things that keep you from being responsible for your own life
- Things that interfere with your relationships to
- You have come to the place where you are READY to stop doing the things
- One of the most powerful things we can ever do with our lives
- Choose what we really want
- The heart of being formed in the image of God is that as humans
- We get to exercise FREE WILL
- As God’s children we get to pick which direction our lives will go
- Toward the brilliance of the Light
- Toward the abyss that is the darkness
- The damage that many forms of emotional trauma causes
- Choice to pick the direction our lives will go is PREEMPTED
- Snatched away from us
- Choice to pick the direction our lives will go is PREEMPTED
- Trauma often leaves you with gaping holes in your
- Self-confidence
- When your doubts outweigh your beliefs
- Your life direction and momentum suffers
- Life feels stuck in neutral
- Seemingly forever
- For some trauma survivors, the confidence gap becomes clear
- Through choice avoidance
- For many, making decisions is downright
- Painful
- People who have lived through their share of trauma
- Often don’t feel comfortable making tough choices:
- Learn to be PATIENT with your doubts
- Take time to categorize them
- Healthy doubts
- Issues you need to work through
- Those you are not sure are healthy
- Take time to categorize them
- Accept your doubts as a gift from God
- Acknowledge
- Doubts are an essential part of the story of recovering
from your past hurts
- Doubts are an essential part of the story of recovering
- Pray for WISDOM and STRENGTH to work through your doubts
- So you can learn to trust the Lord for emotional healing
- A healing that grounds you in peace
- Empowering you to move forward
- A healing that grounds you in peace
- So you can learn to trust the Lord for emotional healing
Dear Lord, my confidence has some holes in it. I know You have all power
In Your hands, but sometimes I have a hard time understanding
Your omnipotence. I have moments in which I waver and have doubts.
Only You know what I’ve been through.
Help me to trust You with all of my heart. Help me to remove the barriers
To my growth. Grant me the courage to take action that is nurturing to who I am,
And who You are calling me to become. I thank You, Lord Jesus,
For Your redeeming love that accepts me unconditionally,
And restores me to wholeness and newness of life. Amen.
- Step Seven is a MATURING PROCESS
- Steps One, Four, Five and Six have given you the data you needed for this step
- You have discovered how specific character defects such as
- People-pleasing
- Jealousy
- Demanding perfection from yourself and another person
- Over-controlling someone else’s reality
- Lying, so forth
- Are affecting your life and the lives of others
- Step Four had you look at how you have affected others by
- Disrespecting their boundaries
- Authentically offending them
- Step Five had you acknowledge how you have harmed others
- Step Six had you look more closely at how you affect others through
character defects - Step Seven recognizes that you are ready to
- Release your character defects
- Learn a new way to live
- Step Seven will be difficult for you to do until you have finally experienced
enough pain from the knowledge of how- Your character defects affect other people
- Many people can do Steps Four, Five and Six and know all their character
defects, yet- NOT wanting to surrender them
- It is only out of your own pain
- You become Ready to surrender
- In one sense, Step Seven is like Step Three
- Except now you have more specific data
- In Step Six you acknowledged the impact of your character defects on
- Others
- Yourself
- This knowledge causes you pain
- It is this pain that brings you to the point
- It isn’t worth it to you any longer
- To stay the same
- It isn’t worth it to you any longer
- It is this pain that brings you to the point
- Working these steps is
- An ongoing process
- A life-changing journey to the end of self
- A destination that launches us forward with a sincere heartfelt desire to
be released from those shortcomings that have been a hindrance in our lives
- Teaching pastor Kyle Idleman has observed some very interesting behavior in his
congregation through the years. Some stories are worth telling, others are not.
But one common thread he has witnessed over and over again is that sometimes
it takes a journey of personal hardship and utter misery for Jesus Christ to grab
our full attention
- Unfortunately, when a person spends too much emotional energy living in the
past or the future- They find themselves in a strange no-man’s land between
- The “Already Gone”
- The “Not Yet”
- They find themselves in a strange no-man’s land between
- That state of limbo is a very tough place in which to function and set down roots
- Emotionally
- Spiritually
Dear Lord, I acknowledge that I have had a rough time reliving past hurts.
There have been moments when my cup has run over with grief.
My pain has at times over-taken me. But I remember
That You have taught me, I can move on.
With your help I can heal, I can grow, I can detach
From the disappointments of the past. I choose to receive Your caring
Instruction and live in the present. You are my Source.
I thank You, Lord, for hearing my prayer. Amen.
- Unlike Step Five, Step Seven can be done alone
- It is an experience between you and your Higher Power
- In your mind you can say something like this:
- I have allowed myself to know about this character defect to the
point where I am in pain about it. I am aware of how- It has adversely affected other people and
- It is adversely affecting me
- I have allowed myself to know about this character defect to the
- I can’t stand the pain
- I want to stop this behavior
- This character defect
- Please remove it from me
- Because I can’t
- Please remove it from me
- This character defect
- I want to stop this behavior
- The main point of this step is to
- Surrender
- Let go of the short-coming
- You are now willing to learn to live without it
- You have done all you can do to eliminate it
- Now you are asking your Higher Power to take it
- Until it goes away, you can begin to change what you are able to about the
defect, but you must be willing to learn to live with the character defect in
your life knowing- YOU HAVE SURRENDERED IT
- Respect yourself anyway
- Until it is removed
- Respect yourself anyway
- YOU HAVE SURRENDERED IT
- List any shortcoming you would like to surrender
- Identify
- Describe
- A healthy substitute for it
- While working this step, we discover God takes only those traits that
- Restrict us
- Stopping us from being ourselves
- We discover God flips our negative aspects to reveal the positive side
- When obsessiveness is FLIPPED it become determination
- While working this step, God will refine or temper our defects: for instance,
care-taking- Focusing on others to the
- Detriment
- Neglect of self
- Can become respect for self and others manifesting into a
- Nurturing
- Life-giving way that holds ourselves and others in
- Honor
- Respect
- Focusing on others to the
- While working this step, we discover some of our defects need to be
let go of like- FEAR
- We discover that letting go of our defects does not eliminate our
personalities- It allows them to come through and shine
- Something they may not have done since childhood
- It allows them to come through and shine
- We humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings
- We don’t yell at Him to change us
- We don’t demand
- We don’t have to whimper
- Grovel
- Beg
- Plead
- Incessantly ask
- We acknowledge God is the Power
- We acknowledge God is all-powerful
- We AREN’T and DON’T have to be
- We acknowledge the difference between God and ourselves
- We discover that some things
- We just can’t do ourselves
- Changing ourselves is one of those things
- We just can’t do ourselves
- Working this step helps us realize this PROCESS OF CHANGE is
- Gradual
- NOT instantaneous
- It is a spiritual process which brings healing
- A palatable process that helps us heal from the pain in our past
- If we become WILLING to FEEL instead of resist
- Once we become WILLING to SURRENDER
- You learn that though life may seem to be stagnant with not much
progress made- You can move forward
- The power of emotional trauma is in its ability
- To chain you to your past
- You want to move forward, but
- Until you learn how to break trauma’s hex
- You find yourself spellbound
- Unable to move
- Unable to grow
- You find yourself spellbound
- Until you learn how to break trauma’s hex
- You find yourself transfixed
- Staring endlessly into space
- Wondering what happened to you
- Staring endlessly into space
- You commiserate endlessly about what
- Woulda
- Coulda
- Shoulda Beens
- You are behind the wheel, but you never take your eyes off
the rear-view mirror to- Look at the road ahead of you
- It’s tragic to become so bound by the wounds inflicted upon you
- By past pain at the hands of another
- Or due to regretful choices
- You lose sight of the gifts God has placed at your disposal
- Today
- You lose sight of the gifts God has placed at your disposal
- It’s tragic to get knocked down by circumstances then
- To allow BEING DOWN
- To become a way of life
- To allow BEING DOWN
- The good news is
- OUR HURTS DON’T HAVE TO HAVE THE LAST WORD
- We can break the shackles of yesterday’s tears by
- Trusting God to lead us in a NEW DIRECTION
- One of the aspects of your character that breaks down when there are too
many stressful demands on you is the loss of hope and faith that your life
can get better- When you lose faith you lose
- Momentum
- Vision
- Direction
- When you lose faith
- You become a minimalist
- You can only deal with what you can see
- When you lose faith you lose
- We can break free from the trap of
- Little faith
- Little hope
- We can accept the mantle that our forefather Abraham took on
- We become free
- Abraham had no idea where the Lord was going to lead him
- He just knew that trusting God meant he was going to have to break
free of the routine he had grown accustomed to following - Abraham understood that he was being called to
- Launch out
- Explore a
- Land
- People
- Culture
- Unfamiliar to Him
- Unfamiliar to Him
- Emotional healing takes a similar slant
- In order to heal from the trauma that embeds itself
- In your soul
- Keeping you from moving forward
- You need Abraham-like faith to recognize
- Sometimes healing means you
- Tear it up
- Start all over again
- Sometimes healing means you
- You need Abraham-like faith to recognize
- It means being willing to take a careful look at your life and ask
- “What is causing me to be stuck right now?”
- Faith also downloads the courage you need to act on the answer
you get from the question- “What is keeping me stuck?”
- Jesus taught us that faith could move mountains
- We can speak to
- Our mountains of fear
- Our mountains of despair
- Our mountains of broken dreams
- Tell them
- “Be Gone”
- Tell them
- This happens by FAITH
- NOT BY UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
- You may have heard the saying:
- “EXPECTATIONS ARE PREMEDITATED RESENTMENTS”
- As stated by John A. Johnson, Phd. in Psychology Today,
- Merely expecting something to happen will not make it happen
- Many normal adults engage in various forms of magical thinking
- Believing their thoughts can directly cause things to happen
- Human beings have a natural tendency to
- Pin their hopes for happiness on fulfilled expectations
- There is nothing wrong with this
- If there are good reasons from past experiences that ensure
- We know certain things make us happy
- If there are good reasons from past experiences that ensure
- The problem with expectations occurs
- When we expect something to happen
- Without good reasons for that expectation
- When we expect something to happen
- We are using
- Magical thinking
- Setting ourselves up for disappointment
- If we believe our expectations alone
- Will accomplish what we want
- If we believe our expectations alone
- Many of us at some time, believed that expecting someone else
to behave the way we want- Will actually make them behave that way
- When the other person has no interest in living up to that expectation
- Turmoil occurs
- Expectations are PREMEDITATED RESENTMENTS
- It should be easy to think of examples in your life where you have felt
resentful toward someone- Who did not live up to your own expectations
- Times when you expected a different response from a certain someone
- When good intentions brought about
- Upset
- Annoyance
- All your planning and work could not accomplish the expected
- You felt
- Shocked
- Indignant
- A bit resentful
- You felt
- When good intentions brought about
- EXPECTATIONS ARE PREMEDITATED RESENTMENTS
- We can break the shackles that hold us back by changing
- What we think and expect from our lives
- Travis Bradberry, Ph.D. wrote the following in an article for Talentsmart:
- Our expectations, more than anything else in life
- Determine our reality
- When it comes to achieving our goals
- If we don’t believe we’ll succeed
- We won’t
- If we don’t believe we’ll succeed
- The tricky thing about our expectations
- They impact other people too
- Indeed, we get the most out of other people
- When we believe in them
- This happens because when we believe in someone
- We treat them better than people we think will fail
- We give them more opportunities to succeed than we give
those we think will fail - We give them more accurate, helpful feedback we give others, and
- We do more teaching because we believe it’s time well spent
- Our expectations, more than anything else in life
- Letting your doubts cloud your belief in
- Yourself
- Someone
- Something
- Practically ensures FAILURE
- Medical professionals call this
- The “NOCEBO” effect
- Our expectations shape our REALITY
- They can change our life
- Emotionally
- Physically
- We need to be extra
- Careful about
- Aware of
- The expectations we harbor as the wrong ones
- Make life unnecessarily difficult
- The expectations we harbor as the wrong ones
- These following expectations identified by Travis Bradberry, Ph.D. cause people
all kinds of trouble
- LIFE SHOULD BE FAIR
- We’ve all been told (and likely told others) that life isn’t fair, but in spite of
what we know about the intricacies of injustice- It’s a concept that doesn’t quite sink in
- In practice
- It’s a concept that doesn’t quite sink in
- A surprising number of us subconsciously expect life to be fair for us
- Quite similar to ignoring the warnings for smoking
- Nothing will happen to me
- Quite similar to ignoring the warnings for smoking
- We believe that any unfairness that we experience will somehow be
balanced out- Even if we don’t do anything about it
- If you’re stuck in that mindset, it’s time to get over it
- When something “unfair” happens
- Don’t rely on outside forces to get you back on your feet
- Sometimes there isn’t any consolation prize
- The sooner you stop expecting there to be
- The sooner you can take action
- Action that will actually make a difference
- Action that will actually make a difference
- We’ve all been told (and likely told others) that life isn’t fair, but in spite of
- OPPORTUNITIES WILL FALL INTO MY LAP
- One of the most important things a person can do
- Stick their neck out
- Seek opportunity
- Just because you deserve
- A raise
- A promotion
- A company car
- Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen
- You have to make it happen
- If we limit ourselves to what’s given to us
- We are at the mercy of other people
- Think, when you take action
- What steps do I need to take
- What obstacles are in my way
- What do I need to do to remove them
- What mistakes am I making that take me away from my
goals rather than toward them
- One of the most important things a person can do
- EVERYONE SHOULD LIKE ME
- People have hang-ups, and that means all sorts of
- Decent
- Kind
- Respectable people are not liked by some for
- No good reason at all
- When you think everyone should like you
- Your feelings get hurt when they shouldn’t
- When you assume that people are going to like you
- Shortcuts are taken
- You start making requests and demands before you’ve laid the
groundwork to really understand what the other person is- Thinking
- Feeling
- Instead of expecting people will like you
- Focus on earning their
- Trust
- Respect
- Focus on earning their
- People have hang-ups, and that means all sorts of
- PEOPLE SHOULD AGREE WITH ME
- When you know what you’re talking about, and for that reason,
people should take you seriously- But, expecting people to agree with you out of courtesy or
because your ideas are sound is another story
- But, expecting people to agree with you out of courtesy or
- Something that’s obvious to you might not be so to someone with
- Different experiences
- Different agendas
- So don’t get offended when people disagree with you
- Don’t assume there is only one right answer
- YOURS
- Focus on how you can find solutions
- Solutions that give everyone what they need
- Solutions that give everyone what they need
- When you know what you’re talking about, and for that reason,
- PEOPLE KNOW WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY
- People can’t read your mind
- What you’re trying to say is rarely what other people hear
- You can’t expect people to understand you
- Just because you’re talking
- You have to be clear
- It’s easy to leave out relevant information
- You don’t think it’s necessary
- Communication isn’t anything
- If it isn’t CLEAR
- If it isn’t CLEAR
- People can’t read your mind
- I’M GOING TO FAIL
- If you expect to fail, you stand a higher chance of creating the
very outcome you’re concerned about - Accept the fact that
- Sometimes you will fail
- Sometimes you will succeed
- When pursuing an endeavor
- Believe with all your heart that you’re going to succeed
- Otherwise, you will limit the chances of that occurring
- Otherwise, you will limit the chances of that occurring
- Believe with all your heart that you’re going to succeed
- If you expect to fail, you stand a higher chance of creating the
- THINGS WILL MAKE ME HAPPY
- Sure, in the short run things can make life more
- Comfortable
- Fun
- But they can’t make you happy in the long run
- Too many of us expect a future event to make us happy
- Instead of looking more deeply into the real causes
for our happiness
- Instead of looking more deeply into the real causes
- If what’s going on inside isn’t fixed
- No external event
- No item is going to make you happy
- Sure, in the short run things can make life more
- I CAN CHANGE HIM/HER
- There is only one person in this world you can truly change
- YOURSELF
- That takes a tremendous amount of effort
- YOURSELF
- The only way a person changes is through the
- Desire
- Determination to change
- Still, attempts to try to change someone else are made
- As if by sheer will and desire for them to improve
- Will work to change them
- As if by sheer will and desire for them to improve
- You may choose people with problems
- Thinking you can “fix” them
- Let go of Faulty Expectations
- There is only one person in this world you can truly change
- Let’s believe together
- As we trust in the Lord with all of our hearts
- We can make better decisions
- As we trust in the Lord with all of our hearts
- Better choices create
- Better outcomes
- Better results
- Build up our confidence
- With better confidence we become
- More comfortable
- At peace with ourselves
- With the work Christ has called us to do
- We become comfortable enough to break free of our shackles and,
like Abraham- Move forward into a place of
- Divine promise
- Divine possibility
- Move forward into a place of
Dear Lord, I have been stuck for a long time. But, I’m ready
To break free from the shackles of my pain.
I allowed myself to be bound by my fears, but I realize that better days
Lie ahead as I step out in faith. I can be like Abraham
And follow You into a better place. I choose to leave behind my past hurts
And embrace my new life in You, one day at a time. Amen.